Northern Ireland Association of Cricket Umpires and Scorers

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The Widow's Lament

contribution from our secretary Joe Moore

THE Widow's Lament

I'm married to an umpire, a lonely thing to be

He'll not be home for dinner; He'll not be home for tea

He'll just about make supper, if he doesn't have a beer

I tell him all about my day, but I'm sure he doesn't hear

He just goes on and on about, The runs that men have scored

I try to show some interest, but really I'm so bored.

And the food laid on was fabulous, there was far too much to eat

Meats and salads, creamy cakes, every meal, a treat

Sometimes it's two, sometimes it's three matches on a trot

Three clean shirts and three clean coats, are ready on the dot.

The Persil and the washing machine, are working overtime

The neighbours look in wonder at the items on the line

And never mind how much I moan, he must be clean and tidy

And as he goes out the door, shouts, there's another game on Friday.